add this to the list

Take heart, and keep your head.

Done.

masks

Wondering why you can't see my last name?

Simple. I'm wearing a mask. Best practices.

Stay safe: Cover your mouth when you laugh, and wash those hands.

my list so far

Words to live by...day by day

Hunkering not Bunkering

Best Practices...Better Natures

Stay Informed not Inflamed

Misinformation spreads. Try not to be a carrier.

Kindness spreads. Feel free... 

Oh, and lest I forget: State of Absurdity Declared. A 14-hour town-wide black-out that ended before Noon the next day when a state-wide stay-at-home advisory went into effect.

The surreal nature of things also remains in effect until further notice. Sometimes words do fail.

Still, my list grows. Yours?

beauty despite this beast

Nature in its many forms amazes. We're lucky to have up close and uniquely personal experiences of her beauty right here in our back yard at the coast. For free.

Talented local photographers exquisitely capture and share what's on offer as well and this is where I get my fill: https://www.facebook.com/groups/HumansofNantasketBeach/.

Times like these I'm comforted knowing the sun will rise -- and set, as will the moon.
And that rhythmic ebb and flow not far away lulls me.

Beauty feeds us. Soothes us too. Pull up a chair.

how's that working for you?

March 20, 2020

In case you're wondering...and I know you are, monitoring my news intake works. Slept like the proverbial baby last night. First time in five days.

I'll admit to having some wall-to-wall news withdrawal symptoms but am slightly less antsy and feeling drawn to just check...

The other good news is that, and maybe some of you less compulsive news consumers know this already, I have more time. I feel a bit like a marble rattling around in an empty can but I'll adjust. I'm finding that I'm better able to focus too and with that in mind...

I scored some great books at the library before they closed for the short-term and was told not to worry about the due dates. Wow, imagine that, Karen, no reading-to-deadline. I feel as though I'm getting away with something. This is working out already...and for now. 

Library closures provide a great reason to re-purpose my clunky old tablet as an e-reader and take advantage of the services available through my library system online. Again, this is probably old hat for many but new for me who loves the feel of "real" books and magazines.

Small doses of trustworthy news combined with some healthy distractions and a comfortable routine. I'm finding my way as we all are and the really good news: I'm not dreaming about toilet paper!

toilet paper, the news, and me

March 19, 2020

I’ve been amazed by the endless coverage of shortages, overages (the coverage itself), and general panicking the past week or so. I get it. At least I think I do.

I’ve concluded that hoarding toilet paper (beyond one’s reasonable needs and forecast-able time frame, and profiteering aside) is one answer to people’s desire for a sense of control. I have six months’ worth of paper products therefore I am. Trust me, I’m not mocking (much) but I do wonder if what I see as folks flailing around with their credit cards and carts are desperate attempts to shore up their defenses against a relative unknown. At least an invisible foe.

My personal motto emerged on paper last week: Hunkering, not bunkering. 

Now and at the risk of turning that into the world’s longest motto, I seem to add to it daily as I come up with ways to minimize my anxiety while building up both my emotional and physical resilience.

When faced with something new, my first instinct is to research it, try to learn all I can, and get a grasp on it. That’s difficult and overwhelming with something as open-ended as this axis-tilting world situation. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

My latest choice: Rationing my news consumption. I embarked on a news fast nearly two years ago but find it necessary to cut back even more now. My body started registering (dis)stress yesterday as I watched a Christiane Amanpour interview – one of my go-to programs. Fifteen minutes in and I turned it off. Tried with the PBS NewsHour later and hit the remote again. Big disappointment; still, heart flutters? Gone. Gotta love that built-in biofeedback system.

My latest revelation: I’m better off reading the news than watching/listening to it. I’m relying on reputable sources online where I can pick and choose what and how much to read...er, consume. Frankly, I’m prone to picking up on the subtle and not so subtle energy, urgency and stress present in some broadcasts. Their pace and mine sync and ratchet up in tandem. Understandable given the state of things but I don’t need to absorb all of that static.

Now, when did I have that revelatory moment? At 3 a.m. as I lay awake...again. This time it wasn’t with swirling thoughts but rather slow, deep breaths, composing (composting too) in my head, and finding clarity without the distractions of daily life. I just might come to like this nocturnal noodling...

You may ask, what does all of this have to do with toilet paper? Simple. Others' toilet paper is my news...and vice versa. We’re all just trying to gain and maintain some control these days. Frankly, I continue to believe that the only things I can control or at least manage are my attitude and reactions. I might overreact sometimes but I can also self-correct. Consider me corrected at least regarding some of what’s been contributing to my own simmering discontent.

There. I feel better already. How about you?

then Monday dawned

March 16, 2020

Woke exhausted today. Too much inadvertent news watching yesterday. How is that even possible? Aimed for forecast and found national/local news conferences and updates. Our governor seems so reasonable.

Starting to hear good news stories about acts of kindness, generous and creative solutions to make up for shortages, and restaurants providing free meals for kids missing out at school. Antidotes.

I pull a card from a small pile in a bowl every day. Each has a single word that often sets up or sums up my day. Today: Light. I'll share.

Sunday slice of life

March 15, 2020

I can't say this CV thing isn't getting to me at some level if only because I woke around 2 this morning and my mind was spinning with calculations for this coming week. Need to get my car in for undoubted repair and it suddenly hit me: "What if they impose a mandatory shut-down...and my car's stuck there..." Ah, those infernal what-ifs. Loose ends.

Calmer heads prevailed later (and after reading a while) when I realized there would be some advance notice. So I have a tentative plan/strategy thanks to that unwanted insomnia. Normally little good comes from those wakeful hours when fears, however small, can raise their heads and try to burrow into mine. They didn't get too far this time, and good thing.
 
About that middle of the night reading: I've also noticed I'm more easily distracted from what's on the page the past few days which is a sign of stress for me. Good for me to be aware...maybe add some deep breathing to the regimen and grab my dusty journal. Writing is a great expectorant. Get that stuff out of my body/head and onto paper where it can do far less harm and maybe do some good. (Just realized this as I was typing which proves the point.)

So here's to clear heads; reliable information sources in moderate doses -- it's been a bit like other times I've been glued to the screen watching some emerging crisis, unable to stop myself; a shot of self-and-others-forgiveness vaccine with boosters as needed; and as a friend reminds me, "...things that bring (us) joy".

In the midst of this and for right now, let's enjoy the constants in our lives.

back to the beginning

March 10, 2020

Enter stage (out of) left (field): Reality

I know we're all following developments as the coronavirus endeavors to spread. It saddens me, however, to hear or read about nearly hysterical stockpiling.

Yes, this thing is potentially serious but the bunker mentality that seems to be emerging as a side effect might be just as pernicious...

I'm as self-interested and -protective as anyone but would hope I'd have been more empathetic in this situation at a small market that a friend describes: "...was surprised to find they still had some hand sanitizer on the shelf. I mentioned that to the person at the checkout, who said she needed to get some after she rang me up. Just then the woman behind me spoke up and said “not any more”. She bought every last bottle that was on the shelf. She also said that she already had some at home."

I'm for hunkering not bunkering. Maybe I'll have bumper stickers made!

I'd like to think I'd have shared a bottle or two with that cashier. Last I noticed each of us only has two hands. Maybe extend one in compassion? After all, the customer would have effectively protected not only the cashier but exponentially countless others...potentially and in the long run the customer herself out and about in the community over the next several weeks. Just saying...

Here we are collectively confronting something that observes no borders, is indiscriminate in whom it chooses, and frankly is trying to survive at our expense. That's what it does. Rock. Hard place. We'll be okay if we're smart. We can be okay in the collective sense as well.

"And still she persisted." I'm re-purposing that as a rallying cry for good. Persistence in the face of uncertainty. Acquiescence in the face of necessity. Sustenance and succor in the face of both.
 
Leading with an open hand...just remember to wash before and after. 
 
Be well, Everyone.

(Note: I hope you read this as intended not self-righteous sermonizing. I do like to hear myself talk but... And that's a metaphorical hand of course.)

now, about that second question

...what impels her to begin again?

Did it actually take a pandemic? Apparently.

Keep safe. 

after all these years

What is it that stops someone who loves to write from doing so? Better yet, what impels her to begin again?

This is a new blog. I'm not even certain it will take but that's the nature of experimentation. You see, I began another in 2005 and seem to have abandoned it in 2011. Perhaps I just needed to shift my focus outward for a while. I still have a couple of drafts yet to be posted there...occasional attempts to reenter that sphere.

Blogging for me is an inside job and that paralleled my life nicely when I began floodgate in what turned out to be the year my mother died. I was fairly prolific, until I wasn't.

Through many iterations since then I've limited my private my musings to patient friends, and many of my deepest-held thoughts have never made it to the page in any form. I won't revisit those here or look back that much. At least for now, I'm starting fresh and from a different vantage point. I do, however, reserve the right to go back and forth between the two sites. After all, none of us is one-dimensional, agreed? 

I'm not writing to impress (hardly) or to score points. I'm writing to explore, evoke, and express. That, and to connect. All contribute to hardiness, by the way. More about that another time. Meanwhile, call me selfish. 

So a new forum has emerged. Same voice. Different place. Different take? Perhaps. We'll see.

Welcome to the slow lane. I hope you'll come back soon...adding your own two cents.